🔥 FEATURED PRODUCTS 🔥
📦 ABOUT THE STORE
Welcome to the Suck IT Consulting Merch Store!! Launched in March 2003 after Dwayne had the idea during a particularly slow help desk week (which is every week). All products are printed/made with care and shipped from our headquarters in Paramus, NJ.
We currently offer clothing, mugs, and desk accessories. A "gift bundle" section is planned for Q4 2003. Dwayne has not started working on it yet but it is on the roadmap (the roadmap is a Post-It note on the wall of Suite 2B).
⚠️ All items ship from Suite 2B, Above Gary's Dry Cleaning, Paramus NJ. Allow 6–8 weeks. Dwayne packs all orders personally, between client calls. This explains the 6–8 weeks.
🆕 NEW ARRIVALS
💬 WHAT CUSTOMERS ARE SAYING
★★★★★
"The 'NOT THE DAVE' hoodie arrived and it is very comfortable. I am not Dave. I never was. The hoodie confirms this legally (I think)."
— Verified Customer, Hackensack NJ
★★★★☆
"The Zip Disk coasters are ironic AND functional. Took 9 weeks to arrive. Dwayne said 6-8. He was close. Taking 1 star for the extra week but it was worth it."
— Linda, Accounting Dept.
★★★★★
"Bought the World's Okayest IT Consultant mug as a gift for our actual IT guy. He stared at it for a long time. Then nodded. Five stars."
— Carol, Paramus Dental Associates
★★☆☆☆
"Package arrived smelling faintly of dry cleaning. I assume this is normal given the address. T-shirt is good though."
— Anonymous Customer
💳 ACCEPTED PAYMENT METHODS: Check (made out to "Dwayne Krupczak"), Money Order, Cash (left in envelope under Gary's door marked "For Dwayne"), Zip Disk (must be pre-formatted), Credit Card (Dave handles this — email first to confirm Dave has not done something with it).